Do I want to have kids?

This is a question that has been popping into my conversations lately. I guess it has to do with age, my affiliations, living with my nephews for almost a year and importance of such an issue at this time of my life.
I am not married, nor am I in a relationship but that does not mean I can not think of such things.
I have always feared that I am not ready to be a father but then again no one is ever prepared to deal with a little being who is 100% dependent on you.
It takes alot to be a parent and I think our generation has belittled the whole experience by engaging in careless sex and then taking the moral high ground against abortion (understand am not advocating abortion here, am simply stating that it is bewildering that some reckless behavior are a taboo while short term gratification that brings about the pregnancy and chances of contracting STD's is not seen as risky)

I am at the point that I feel prepared to be a father if the opportunity presented itself. I feel that I can provide the love, foundation and support that a child needs.
Here is some passage that I read that strengthened my desire to be a father...to play a role on in future generation:

“Children, who are not the end but only the possible and not the obligatory consequence of the union of a man and woman, are not automatically a prolongation of what their parents have been. And if all of us are at the same time jealous of the young (who just by existing, remind us adults of our death) and if we are always inclined to invest our own desire for immortality in them so that when we are no longer on the scene something of us will remain, this must not obscure the fact that every child represents the emergence of someone wholly other. An apparition of the future, the child relegates the generation before it to the past and rolls back the curtain of the future on a world that is new but neither engendered by history nor foreign to it, linked to the passage of time by an originative dialectic of continuity and rupture. The child is not primarily a reproduction of a parental model but a new venture, a unique and irreplaceable being who breaks through the known to open a way to the improbable. This is why the death of a child is a scandal that sends the parents back into the past, back to the known, the usual. For them the future dies, time closes up, life loses meaning.”

For what is in a Name?

At a gathering the other day, the issue of naming kids came up.
I don't have any kids nor had I given naming kids much thought.

There are three different groups when it comes to naming kids.
The first sticks strictly to ethnic/tribal names (no anglo name)
The second group combines ethnic/tribal names with anglo saxon names (via baptism)
The third group abandons their ethnic/tribal names and adapts purely anglosaxon names.
Each group has its reason for the way they name their kids, but should parent keep societal prejudices/biases into consideration when considering a child's name?

Our name serves as the label to our identity, pointing to culture, religious affiliation, sex, social position, ethnic background, tribal affiliation and even age.


Names can have a great impact on the social, financial and even residential impact on a person. Studies have been done that indicate African-American sounding jobseekers (same CV) received 50% less calls than Anglo sounding names. The same case applies for foreign sounding names. (http://www.nber.org/digest/sep03/w9873.html)
Even finding housing is an issue: "From 1,100 e-mail inquiries to Los Angeles-area landlords asking about vacant apartments advertised online, the traditional white sounding name elicited 89% of positive replies. A foreign sounding name brought in 66% of replies while the African-American name took in 56%. A landlord’s positive reply consisted of a follow up appointment to show off the property for lease or an indication that the place was available." (http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2006-05/osu-ncl052306.php)

There is a chapter on exactly this in Freakonomics, a fun best seller about real-life economics.


"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."
Shakespeare clearly did not live in our discriminatory world and if he did, he chose not to notice the discrimination.


There are many Jewish, Asian, Latinos and even Kenyans who have Anglocized their names. They dont do this cause an Anglo name sounds better; they do it because at best people are ignorant or xenophobic and at worst racist.
I am in no way advocating Anglocization of all names, am simply stating that we live in a discriminatory country where someone can determine whether you get a job, house or into a school simply by looking at your name.

What is your opinion on the matter...should a parent ignore culture and give the child an Anglosaxon or should a parent stick to his/her guns and give the child an "ethnic/tribal" name knowing very well that the potential for discrimination increases?

Character and Conscience

I have to live with myself and so,
I want to be fit for myself to know.
I want to be able as the days go by,
Always to look myself straight in the eye.
I don’t want to stand with the setting sun,
And hate myself for the things I’ve done.
I can never hide myself from me,
I see what others may never see.
I know what others may never know,
I can never fool myself and so…
Whatever happens I want to be,
Self-respecting & conscience free!

Author Unknown

A new world order?

I have been observing a change in tradition happening around me for a while.
Many of my friends are quickly getting married (they have hit or are approaching 30). Marriage comes with alot of responsibilities and disclosures.

Observing my friends' careers, I can quickly guess the income range they are earning. The major observation among my friends that I have noted is women are earning more than their husbands. They have entered into job sectors that are more marketable and stable than their husbands.

Here in Atlanta, many females have entered the healthcare sector (doctors, nurse practitioners, public health professionals etc) These professions are in high demand and they tend to pay better in comparison to the professions that many husbands have chosen.

A paradigm shift has taken place.
Men have accepted that it is not demeaning to earn less than their wives
Women have taken the role of being the breadwinner
Financial responsibility has become a team effort while-else it used to be the man's responsibility.

A woman's earnings used to be her's to keep for emergencies or use wherever she sees it fit, but not any more. More and more families are relying on the wife's income. Husbands are taking on a greater role around the house as well. There is definitely a generational change.

This brings me to the questions: Are men not doing enough to prepare themselves for a career or are the women doing more than they used to?
Are you comfortable with your mate making more money than you are?
Does that fact make you feel insecure at times?

Communication

As things progress in our relationship
Words play a big role
Like the sails in a ship
So do the words as a whole
A big dent they can leave
If not appropriately conveyed
I urge you to pick and sieve
So no words or message is misconstrued
May we focus on the positives
Highlight each other’s qualities
Belittle the occasional negatives
And pray to God, A closer bond he ties

Childhood Dreams (the lack of)

What do you want to be when you grow up?
I really hope someone asked you this question.
For me, I don't recall anyone asking me that question. I do not recall dreaming about being a police officer, president, banker, professional athlete etc.
Looking back, I did not have any aspirations

The other day I was listening to the last lecture by Randy Pausch. He was a professor at Carnegie Mellon University. He was reflecting on his life and his childhood dreams and then went into details how he accomplished each and every one.
Watching his inspirational lecture provided mixed emotions. I admired his ambition and pursuit of his dreams and at the same time it made me really sad that I did not have childhood dreams.
Exposure is very important.
Exposure to careers, jobs, activities etc at a young age allows a child to imagine, dream, and start working towards a goal.

My five year old nephew told me he wants to be a paleontologist. I did not need to look up what paleontologist do cause my nephew was ready with the information. He has a fascination with dinosaurs so unearthing new fossils would be a great job to him. Hearing talk so passionately about dinosaurs, exploration etc makes me realize that I missed out on a big part of life.
I sit back and think: I wonder what childhood dream I would have had....would that have affected who I am right now?

I am not a parent but I have hanged out with my nephews long enough to realize that parents have a great responsibility. Providing food and love is not enough. Children are looking up to you to stimulate their imagination; to give them the right foundation; to expose them to possibilities; to make them think what they would like to do in the future.
Passion starts from an early age...ensure your children have a passion about something and then assist them to make it happen.

What were your childhood dreams?
Have you accomplished any of them?

17 golden rules for Business Success by Meyer Rothschild

1. Carefully examine every detail of the business.
2. Be prompt.
3. Take time to consider and then decide quickly.
4. Dare to go forward.
5. Bear your trouble patiently.
6. Maintain your integrity as a sacred thing.
7. Never tell business lies.
8. Make no useless acquaintances.
9. Never try to appear something more than you are.
10. Pay your debts promptly.
11. Learn how to risk your money at the right time.
12. Shun strong liquor.
13. Employ your time well.
14. Do not reckon on chance.
15. Be polite to everyone.
16. Never be discouraged.
17. Work hard and you will succeed.

The Rothschild have played a great role in global economy since the 19th Century, so I figured a little advise from one of them doesnt hurt. Advise is very general and it can be applied to any business interaction.