Going by the norm in society, I do not express sorrow or show empathy.
This got me concerned over the past week when something sorrowful took place in my family. The conventional way of expressing sorrow is to visit the person/victim, express how sorry you are, ask him/her if he/she is alright and state that you are there for them. If you can not be there physically you can do the same over the phone.
In my case I look at it from my point of view---How would I like people to treat me? The fact is if 20-50 people went through this routine with me it would annoy me and I might snap at someone who asks me how I am doing while they can clearly see that am in pain.
Don't get me wrong, I express sorrow, but not in the conventional way. I do not think people visiting my house, adding stress of providing refreshments etc to them and asking me rhetorical questions is necessarily the best way to express remorse.
I am the type of person who will send a text message...stating am sorry for his/her loss and if there is anything that I can do, that individual should not hesitate to ask.
I think many people hang around those who have lost a loved one with good intentions, and ask rhetorical questions cause they do not know what else to do...that's exactly where I see the problem. If you care about the person, offer your condolences and offer to be there physically or assist in another form and then move on...hanging around doesnt really help the grieving (my opinion)
Maybe my inability to express sorrow in the conventional manner needs to be addressed, but I wouldnt want to be on the other extreme.
How do you express remorse towards others and how would you like others to do unto you?
You are not alone.......
ReplyDeletethank you dude, am glad to hear that.
ReplyDeleteIt is quite strange how some people feel at home where there is sorrow.
There is no predefined way to mourn/ go through a sorrowful period ...... but I know the best times that I ever felt strong in my life are the time I was surrounded by people who genuinely cared and showed it. I too don like the frequent check-up of “how are u now?”.......... Genuine pple are able to connect with my feeling without putting me at a trouble of explaining things time and again..............
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